Disappointed

I knew I wouldn't PR today, but I never imagined the disappointment I would feel. Part of me is disappointed in myself, part is scared that I may repeat what happened. I started the Portland Run Like Hell, from the moment my feet hit the pavement I knew something was different. True, monsoon season came in overnight, but this was different. My body hurt, just not in an "I can push myself through this" pain. I was physically exhausted. It felt as though I couldn't get my feet to move and I was running through quicksand. For once it wasn't my head controlling the way I felt. At mile 3 I saw T and K at the aide station. Taking some gel and water I couldn't even get my body to run. I started walking to try and "reset" and even then my body kept telling me to stop.

E ran the 10k, and when I was getting to mile 5 I saw him run towards me. He gave me a hug and I sadly told him "I can't do it...I just can't do it." As the rain was hitting me in the eyes and beating down on me I walked to the sidewalk and off the course :( I hoped I never would not finish a race, but today I did. I just couldn't do it. Now my fears are that I will have this happen again, and during a big race, like Honolulu. I am tired, my body is just plain tired. This week will be a "resting" week. My coaches came up with a plan to keep me going, but at the same time give my body time to recover from last weekend and this week.

By the way, E did great in his 10k! I am so proud of him, and it was awesome to watch him cross the finish line!