Turkey Trot

Gobble Gobble....sorry for the late update on the Turkey Trot. It was a lot of fun! The morning started at 4:45 am for me. When I took the dogs out there was no precipitation, so I was excited. I thought we would be in luck for just some chilly weather! I have not yet gotten the proper outdoor running gear for winter, so I was trying to throw things. I looked like the Punky Brewster of runners :) I was excited that the bargain buy grey running tights I bought for 7.99 fit great! But they looked silly under my turqouise running shorts. Oh well! But at least I had some gloves and head band to keep my ears warm.

Well on the way to the Oregon Zoo it started to sprinkle. The three of us got our bibs, and Clair got her t-shirt. Eric and I were running the 4 mile run that started at 8 am, and then Clair had her Toddler Trot at 9:30. My parents were going to watch her while we were running. Eric and I lined up at the start line ready to go. There were quite a few people. Finally we were able to start. The course was an out and back to the Japanese Garden from the Oregon Zoo, and then into the Oregon Zoo. Well, this meant going running less than two miles down hill turn around and run two miles up hill and then about half a mile down hill again. And the hills were quite steep!

Eric stayed with me for the first mile and a half. It was pretty rainy, and we were both pretty soaked. He took off going faster than I could go. On the way back up, it was pretty steep. A lot of the people were walking, but if I start walking I never start jogging again. So I continued jogging....very slowly. The rain was falling a little harder by now and my gloves were soaked. I was feeling pretty lousy, my legs hurt from the cold and then I saw a bright green shirt. It was a Childrens Tumor Foundation t-shirt, talk about a kick to the ego. A little adrenaline kicked in and I was able to get going. About mile three and a half my back started to have a huge spasm. It was at that moment I wished Eric was still running with me to help push me a little bit. The hill was going to be the end of me running! Well then I remembered watching a show about Matt from the Biggest Loser the night before. Matt had participated in an Ironman Marathon. He swam two and half hours, biked 100+ miles, THEN ran 26.2 miles! He missed being an "official finisher" by 3 minutes! He said, "sometimes you have to push your body to do things you don't think it can do." Well I know this is not exactly what he meant, but it got me through! I got up the hill.

In the parking lot I saw my daddy! He got my picture, so I made sure I flashed a good smile. As I came into the Zoo, it seemed like a long way down to the ampitheatre. It just kept going and going. Soon I saw my mom, Eric and Clair. Then Eric and Clair came out of the crowd and joined me to the finish. We crossed the line at 50 mins and 59 seconds. It probably took us a minute to cross the start line though.

Clair got to run an 800 meter dash out and back. It was so cute! She got a ribbon and was so fun to watch her. When she finished she said, "mommy I won!" She did, she won my heart!

The next run on the horizon is the First Run in Downtown Portland on New Years Eve. Neither Eric and I are into the big party scene, so we thought it might be fun to do a run. We will be out of town to do the Jingle Bell Run this weekend

Honesty

So today my entire goal was to just get my butt in gear and get a run in. I have the day off, and Clair was going to be in preschool, so I really had no excuse to hit the road. While dropping Clair off the middle school kids were doing a run. It brought back so many memories, and made me contemplate so many things during my run today. Which leads me to honesty. Maybe more of just expressing feelings, thoughts, etc.

I am a fat girl. I will never be size 0, 2, or 4. If I am....be concerned, very concerned. If I am that small I am not healthy. I will never weigh 110 pounds. My bones probably alone weigh that much! Add in the organs, muscles, skin and other essential body parts then I will still be "overweight" by societies standards. All I want is to be healthy, and lead a good example for my daughter.

I watched the kids run, what made me start thinking was watching a larger girl try so hard. Then there were two other girls talking and they looked at each other and said "oh we do not have to go that way, no one will know." And they cut off part of the run. I watched the other girl look at them and continue going, continue to try her hardest. I know the feeling of trying so hard, and then seeing it come so easy for others, or watch others that do not try, or even cheat and then want to give up...but can not.

So while thinking about that, I began thinking about some of the looks I get. The looks I get from people in their cars. Usually it is one of "that is a big girl" and all I can think of is at least I am out here, I am getting exercise. Or worse yet the people that see me while I am doing a cool down and give me the look of she should be working harder, and not knowing that I just finished three or four miles. Life as a big girl sucks. But I am tired of trying to be skinny, and if it means I have to spend my life eating foods I hate then I do not want it.

My run felt good. I felt like I was shedding away feelings today. That I knew I was trying my hardest, and that even though it was hard I kept going. Plus I wore Erics running tights today, and it felt like he was hugging my butt the whole run! Or at least like he was with me :) The Turkey Trot is on Thursday, only 2 days. Four miles.....hopefully the weather stays beautiful!!!!

Roadblock

Is it lack of motivation? Lack of desire? Lack of ability? Am I exhausted? What is wrong with me! Eric and I went to the indoor track at the gym last night and it was painful. I just couldn't do it! I did about two laps at a time (and it takes 13 to make a mile!) before I would have to walk two laps. I just didn't have any umph behind me. I WANT to run....but when I am doing it, I just don't feel it. Hmmmm..... I got the okay to run on Friday from the plastic surgeon, and tried at the gym with no luck on treadmill. Maybe I am putting too much pressure on myself?

Turkey Trot is next weekend. Four chilly miles up at the Oregon Zoo Thanksgiving morning. Let's hope by then some inner desire comes back out.

Ugh!

Really? Another week? I have to wait another week? I am so impatient! My steri-strips (the little pieces of tape over the incision) came off today. There was only a little help from me ;) (Really....they were falling off on their own!) The incision looks AMAZING! But I still can't run.

Stress has been mounting. If you can picture a tea pot right before it starts whistling, that is me. Not having an outlet has made it very difficult to get through it. Hence the additional amount of chocolate I have consumed (and Skittles). Friday can not come fast enough, I am pretty sure that when I go to my follow-up appointment with Dr. Gray I will have my running gear in the car.

Retail therapy usually helps. This past week was no exceptions. I bought a new pair of running shoes, Mizuno Wave Creation 10s. They are pretty comfortable with my orthotic in them, and they are pink! I have one problem that has popped up recently (almost literally!) There is a "bump" on the top of my left foot. It can be one of three things. The first is that it could be a bone spur. Ick....not a great option. Would probably require some shaving and time off from work (and running) neither which I want to do. The second is that it is a part of the hardware from the bunionectomy I had three years ago. This would be the easiest to take care of, a quick operation to remove the screws and plate. Nothing too exciting or fun. Talking with one of the surgeons I work with said it would be minimal recovery time (in my head a weekend). Third.....some freak who knows what alien growth. Not an option I like. So what am I going to do? Wait until after the Princess Half Marathon or it kills me, whichever comes first. I don't want anymore setbacks right now. I need the release that exercise gives me.

We got our airline tickets and our hotel booked for Orlando!!! I am so excited. We booked our hotel at the Marriott Horizons Resort, and all the resorts sound fabulous and very kid friendly. I can't wait to surprise CB. I can't wait to see her run in the kids' races too. Eric asked if there was a Prince or King race....I told him no, I think he is a little upset. Makes me want to do a 5K the day before with him (there is a family 5K on Saturday). Hmmm....new idea. It is only 3 miles, by then I should be able to handle that!

Gobble Gobble

Next race....4 mile Turkey Trot at the Oregon Zoo. CB will be participating in the Toddler Trot. Thanksgiving Day run will lead to the ability to eat more later ;)

Good news today!!! The plastic surgeon called today to tell me that the wide excision she took out had clear margins and although the cells were atypical they were all removed! Now the incision just needs to heal so I can get out and run again. 10 days and those stitches come out :)

Sending out a Whoot Whoot!!!

Congratulations Tall Mom, Mel!!!! First Place in her half marathon yesterday! That is AWESOME!!!!!

Check it out! http://www.tallmomontherun.blogspot.com/